Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
