Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
