I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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