Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
