hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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