Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
