I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
