dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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