you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
