Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
