Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
