I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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