either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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