How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
