So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
