Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
