Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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