Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
