i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
