I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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