I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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