omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
