Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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