How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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