you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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