She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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