Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
