I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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