haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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