Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
