she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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