you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
