The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
