well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
