I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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