peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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