He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
