my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
