This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
