Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
