So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
