Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
