i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
