omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
