Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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