No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
