I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Bring me that man meat
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
