it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
