she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
