She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
