it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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