Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
