"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
