What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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